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  • Writer's pictureStop The Pain

Jacqueline Szablowski

A little over 3 years ago, it was my second day in detox from prescription medication (Opioids). Off to rehab after a very traumatic and unbearably painful rock bottom.

Plagued with worthlessness, depression, in the midst of a divorce, child services involvement, and complete spiritual bankruptcy. If someone told me, whilst in rehab, that my life was going to be what it is like today..I would’ve brushed them off angrily.

And they told me.. -”Don’t leave before the miracle happens” -“Let us love you, until you love yourself” -“If you must beat yourself up, put down the bat and pick up a feather” -“Time takes time” -“This is a gift of desperation”

Who are these people? What are they trying to tell me? Why do they care so much about worthless ol’ me? Can’t they see I’m a complete disaster?? Why on earth would anyone want to love ME???

But they did care. They carried me out of that bathroom floor when I couldn’t pick myself up, crying out to some power greater than myself. “Help me God!! What I’m doing is NOT working” Essentially, right there I took my third step. Thy will, not mine be done.

And so they carried me. Back to group. Music therapy. I can still remember it clear as day. They played “Fight Song” and I wept all of my sorrows, shame, and guilt that day. It poured out of me. • I couldn’t believe that one day I could sleep through the night. Breathe easy. Feel genuinely happy from the core. Laugh. That good belly laugh. Tears of joy. I just couldn’t believe that was in the cards for me.

And today...and for some time now...I can say I do. My thoughts are clear. Positive. My soul feels on fire! Passion, hope, serenity, freedom, joy and LOVE running through my veins!! • Life will inevitably be tough. It ebbs and flows. It’s life after all! But today, I can see my way through it. I’ve built a life I’m proud of. Surrounded myself with people that continue to support me and help me grow. Next level mindsets. I’m blessed and ridiculously grateful. So if you’re struggling come join us “as we trudge the road to happy destiny.”

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